Living with COVID

Hi readers, it has been a long while since I got back behind my laptop and completed a blog for you. Call it writer’s block…but it has just been so hectic since the world re-opened and then closed, and this repeated again and again, since lockdown 1.0.

As dentists, we were thrown back into work…as if nothing had happened! Our profession barely got a heads-up before the Government announced our return to this newly COVID ridden world. Do not forget, we go right into the mouth, and are exposed to the throat region… one of the places COVID likes to reside.

Per usual, Boris announced (in his shabby manor) “Dentists will re-open on 8th June”
Well…my feelings were pure anxiety! What did my job even entail? I had spent three months getting to “know myself”…reading…working out…and I created a small mask business. Teeth? Dentistry? It had been three months since I had seen a patient! Help!

We all eventually got back into the swing of things and PPE was extensive and brutal! At first guidelines were changing all the time, and it was so ambiguous and scary. Now… this is the “new norm” (I am so sick of hearing that phrase). In fact I am sick of any 2020 COVID related phrase… but I’ll probably be using them all. So, enjoy!

I was pretty relaxed about COVID. I knew it was out there, but I did not feel threatened. I met up with friends and went for walks (as and when the law allowed). We all then went through lockdown 2.0, and I moved away from social media… I started to do things that interested me and gave me a sense of worth. Instagram actually became boring. It serves a whole new purpose in my life, and I do admit I love using it for food and home inspiration. I moved away from posting as much, and rested that part of myself.

Then, I got sick… and lockdown 3.0 happened.
It started with the chills…then came the sore throat. Of course, my first thought was COVID! I “self isolated” (another phrase I never want to hear again) and I felt better. As I had no symptoms, I went for an isolated run and started to feel like my cold was over. I was being hopeful, when I started to feel unwell again… really unwell. I booked my COVID test, that was real fun…NOT! You are met by wonderful and kind people, who are really caring and helpful! I have to say they were amazing… and they were sacrificing their own health to benefit the rest of us! They only wore a blue standard mask and were faced by an inundated number of possible positive COVID patients. That is not easy! Would you do it? Hmmm… I don’t know if I could answer yes.

So, back to the experience of COVID walk-in testing. You enter a tent, and head to an isolated area. There you find posters that show you how to accurately stick a swab to tickle your tonsils (and your gag reflex…joy!), and then stick the same swab right up your nostril…for extra fun. To think we are actually living through a Pandemic! Oh, that’s another line I have had enough of… I am done… This pandemic can leave now!

So, I isolated in my room until I received my highly anticipated results… I was NEGATIVE! Phew! I started to relax and felt better. I still took precautions and kept to myself. Isolation even for these few days was hard! You see and read about mental health challenges through this period, and you start to understand it. It is frightening to be locked into one space with a virus that has a mind of its own. Being locked in a room alone for days on end will drive you mad! I can vouch for that!

As days passed, I started to feel unwell…again! This time it was more intense… I could not decide if it was anxiety or I actually felt it difficult to breathe? I have become a master of distraction! I was able to calm myself and relax. As someone who has a close relationship with anxiety… I used all my techniques I had mastered since my teens. However, despite all my great efforts, I knew something was not right! So, here I was again, at the same test sight, with that swab…

Result… POSITIVE!

First thoughts…

“Ok, I have COVID…”

“What do I do now?”

I had already been isolating for a week and now I had to add another 10 days. I was exhausted. “Isolation”… it is used as a form of torture… I can completely see why!
My symptoms got worse. Every day was a new symptom, a new form of torture! It was an advent calendar of hellish COVID surprises. I could smell though! Hurray! Not that my sense of smell was much use to me at this point.

Days passed and I got better and life moved on. Did it change my stance on COVID… YES! YES! YES! It is out there and if it wants to, it will mess with you! I was lucky. You do not know how this virus will attack you and it is worse for the overweight, unfit, diabetic, asthmatic and less healthy person. However, there are young and healthy people dying! So, you just do not know! I did not write this to scare anyone. I am fine. Yes, there are days when I still get nauseous or feel funny, and perhaps a random cough may pop up during my day. I am just starting to feel normal after a month. As mentioned, I suffer with anxiety, and although I have become great at managing it, COVID did not make me exempt from freaking out! It was intense…prolonged… exhausting!

One of my biggest frustrations is to see these anti covid protests and seeing people shouting at police and at Hospital entrances, “COVID is fake”… Well, sorry, it is not! So, put your mask on and sit at home, because you’re not helping! You are just insulting everyone who has been affected, those that died, and all the healthcare workers.

I have a family member who works in Hospital and has seen the tragedies… I have patients who work in Hospitals and are exhausted from the things they have seen and experienced. There are elderly people stuck at home, who have not seen their families for months/maybe a year. I honestly have no idea how they did it and are still doing it!

I thought of all those people who have struggled and lost their loved ones. It really is not easy, and at the least it should not be mocked as “made up”. We have all already thanked our doctors and healthcare workers… but I truly don’t think any amount of gratitude can be enough.

I hope everyone keeps safe and we finally see an end to this trauma, known as COVID.

xxx